Things I've Learned From Doing Comedy in New York

I've done comedy in New York for about a week now, and I've just about mastered it. Obviously there was a learning curve, but I'm a better comedian for it and I'm fitting in great now! If you're thinking about moving into this scene and are looking for any tips, here are some things I've learned from doing comedy in New York City:

- Don't open sets with "Ladies, gentlemen, and dirty foreigners."

- Don't show up late to an open mic and immediately start passing out business cards.

- The Comedy Cellar is not currently accepting resumes.

- Godfrey is a well-respected comic, not my friend.

- Don't go to watch a show and then keep whispering to the host, "Put me in, coach."

- There is no sign-up to do Colbert, Meyers, OR Fallon.

- Those are NOT the Coen Brothers in the front row.

-Don't try to make friends at an open mic by announcing, "All drinks on me!" (It will cripple you financially)

-While signing up for an open mic, don't write in your credits next to your name.

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